The change of mindset, that is, a collection of beliefs and values, preferences, desires, wants, and needs, starts with the change of attention.
Instead of fighting with the person, start with acceptance of the person’s stand. Start with your own awareness of the person:
Knowledge: What does my audience know about the topic I want to talk about?
Interest: How interested is the audience in my subject?
Background: What are the common demographics of my audience?
Support: How much support already exists for my views?
Beliefs: What are my audience’s common beliefs?
People are are constantly trying to make sense out of the barrage of disconnected information faced daily and they become good at filling in to make a reasonable scenario out of disjointed input that they sometimes make sense out of nonsense. They will often fill in the blanks and provide a coherent picture of what they hear and see, even though a careful examination of the evidence would reveal that the data is vague, confusing, obscure, inconsistent and even unintelligible.
Many people are trained to obey. This issue of authority is central to why most of us are inclined to think ‘inside the box’. It is important to learn how to make patterns and generalize but through it we also learn unquestioning suggestibility and authority. This leads us to accept what societal figureheads such as parents, teachers, tutors and doctors say — and even find ourselves offering their opinions as our own.
In the Milgram studies of obedience and the Law of Authority, the strength of this tendency to obey legitimate authorities comes from systematic socialization practices designed to instill in society members the perception that such obedience constitutes correct conduct . When reacting to authority in an automatic fashion, there is a tendency to do so in response to the mere symbols of authority rather than to its substance. 3 kinds of symbols that have been shown by research to be effective in this regard are
1. titles
2. clothing
3. personal assets such as automobiles.
In studies, investigating the influence of these symbols, individuals possessing one or another of them (and no other legitimizing credentials) were accorded more deference or obedience by those they encountered. Moreover, in each instance, those individuals who deferred or obeyed underestimated the effect of authority pressures on their behaviors. It is possible to defend ourselves against the detrimental effects of authority influence by asking 2 questions:
1. Is this authority truly an expert?
2. How truthful can we expect this expert to be here?
The first question directs our attention away from symbols and toward evidence for authority status. The second advises us to consider not just the expert’s knowledge in the situation but also his or her trustworthiness. With regard to this second consideration, we should be alert to the trust-enhancing tactic in which a communicator first provides some mildly negative information about him- or herself. Through this strategy the person creates a perception of honesty that makes all subsequent information seem even more credible to observers.
Peer Pressure and Modeling are also subtly cohesive — Human emulate models, and comport ourselves akin to them. Most cults train new members either overtly stated policies or by more implicit shaping, to act in ways desired by the group. Peer pressure is an effective means to get people to fit their behavior to group norms. In cults, this works for new and old members alike, going far beyond what is generally seen in society at large. In an atmosphere that states or implies that there is only one way to be this is it, it is most important to have models around to imitate.
The herd effect can also be in personalized form. Create a public sign to informatively suggest that the majority has decided what is a normalized good behavior specific to their context and situation.
Example(s): A hotel sign in the bathroom informed the guests that many prior guests chose to be environmentally friendly by recycling their towels. When the message mentioned that majority of the guests who stayed in this specific room chose to be more environmentally conscious and reused their towels, towel recycling jumped 33%, even though the message was largely the same.
Learn To Connect
If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth. — John Cleese
Once you’ve got people laughing, they’re listening and you can tell them almost anything. — Herbert Gardner
Laws of Suggestion
1. Positive. The subconscious mind needs to be told what to do, rather than what not to do. “Don’t think of rainbows” is the same as “Think of rainbows.” Negative suggestions not only don’t work, they waste time.
2. Present tense. The subconscious mind only understands “now.” Suggestions that are given for “tomorrow” or some unspecified future date will not become active. They will stay on hold until it is “tomorrow” or “later.” The problem is that it is never “tomorrow”, it is always “today”. It is never “later”, it is always “now”. Suggestions for a specific future time can be given effectively if you imagine that it is that future time “now” as you give the suggestion.
3. Practice. As the subconscious mind does not understand time, imagining something for 1 minute or less can be the same as imagining it for 20 minutes. It is much more potent to imagine something 20x for a minute each time than once for 20 minutes.
4. Pathos / Passion. Suggestion is determined by x number of repetitions given at Y emotional amplitude.
Similar Is Familiar
Connectedness is required for attraction, it creates the Halo Effect. Trust is won by charm, and the ability to provide comfort, the positioning of power, authority, reliability that will paint for you a character of ability and virtues.
Albert Mehrabian says we are perceived in 3 ways:
1. 55 % Visually (body language)
2. 38 % Vocally (tone of voice)
3. 7 % Verbally (spoken words)
The feeling of goodwill creates rapport. It can be procure via thanksgiving, expression of admiration, praise and acknowledgement.
Some people resort to Mirroring and Matching to create the sense of familiarity. They quote the user, imitate his pet phase and lingo, and even match to their breathing and pulsing, to fuel enthusiasm. Yet bear in mind that using body language to connect can either attract or distract. Ensure that there will be no awkward mirroring which will only reduce you to a creepy mime.
Sounds Familiar?
People like stocks with more pronounceable names. Research of stock tickers between 1999 and 2004 looked at the relationship between the phonetic fluency of the stock and its rise through IPO, then 12 months later, then throughout its lifetime. Stocks with more pronounceable names produced higher returns, even though nobody yells out the tickers on the exchange floor anymore.
Abstract names allow the customers to come up with reasoning. Crayola found out that naming colors Cornflower Yellow and Kermit Green worked better than no adjectives attached to colors. The more abstract the connection, the better it seemed to work, as people spent mental time working out the connection between the abstraction and the product in their mind.
Less Is More
When Head & Shoulders brand killed off 11 flavors of the shampoo, leaving only 15 on the market, the sales rose 10%.
Don’t Cheapen The Offer
The branded doormat. Giving away the product makes it less desirable. Example(s): Researchers gave 1 group of people a picture of a pearl bracelet and asked to evaluate its desirability. Another group of people was given the same task, but prior to that was shown an ad, where the same bracelet was given away for free, if you bought a bottle of expensive liqueur. 2nd group considered the bracelet much less desirable, since mentally a lot of potential buyers (35% of them to be exact) shuffled the bracelet onto “trinkets they give away for free” shelf in their brain.
A more expensive product makes the old version look like a value buy. After an introduction of a newer, better, and pricier version, the sales of the old unit actually increased, as couples viewed the new item as “top of the line”, but old product was all of a sudden reasonably-priced, even though a bunch of features were missing.
Sign In Their Commitment
Writing things down improves commitment. Group A was asked to volunteer on AIDS awareness program at local schools, and was asked to commit verbally. Group B was asked for the same kind of volunteer project, but was given a simple form to fill in. 17% of volunteers from Group A actually showed up to their assigned local school. From Group B 49% of volunteers showed up.
In Response to a Reluctance to Commit when the person states: “I don’t know if I could.” , ask them “What, specifically, prevents you?” or “What would have to happen for you to be able to?” or “What would change if you did?”
The Trojan Request: Can You at Least Do This?
If you’re asked to do a rather large favor for someone only to decline his request for help, beware. A smaller favor, the one he really wants you to do, may follow. We are more likely to agree to a smaller request if we’re first presented with a larger one. 3 psychological motivations at work:
• You feel that in contrast to the first request, the smaller one is no big deal.
• You feel bad for not coming through on his original favor, and this seems like a fair compromise.
• You don’t want to be perceived as unreasonable. A small little favor isn’t going to kill you.
Beware if you are asked to commit to something, even in a small way. This request is usually followed by a slightly greater request, and over time your sense of commitment is built up to the point where you feel locked into your decision. When you make decisions, notice if your best interests are being served.
Asking for small favors changes self-perception, introducing ways for big favors. Researchers asked a group of homeowners to place a large “Drive Carefully” sign on their front lawn. Only 17% agreed. In a 2nd group of homeowners, 76% of people were ok with road traffic people maintaining the sign on their beautiful lawns. What was the difference between 2 groups? A few weeks earlier group B was asked to display a small non-intrusive window sign asking drivers to slow down. This mental foot-in-the-door technique made homeowners from the group B view themselves as socially responsible and safety-aware, hence a request for a larger favor few weeks later didn’t startle them.
Forging Scarcity
Creating scarcity drives urgency to short-circuit sufficient logic on a taunt for Immediate Action. Scarcity makes the limited product dramatically increase its appeal.
Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value. — Jim Rohn
Opportunities are always more valuable, attractive and exciting when they are scarce and less available. The urge to win has a lot to do with the ego.
The Law of Scarcity is subtly related to the Law of Forbidden Fruit. It hints at the `dark matter of hidden desire`. When certain things are denied, there will be defiance.
Compliance techniques can be induced by the “limited number” and/or “deadline”. Subjects are afraid of imminent regrets if they missed the access to what they are offered which is restricted by amount or time.
Scarcity works even when the desired object or thing isn’t going to really benefit the recipient. The scarcity principle holds true for 2 reasons:
1. Things that are difficult to attain are typically more valuable, the availability of an item or experience can serve as a shortcut cue to its quality;
2. As things become less accessible, we lose freedoms. People respond to the loss of freedoms by wanting to have them (along with the goods and services connected to them) more than before. As a motivator, psychological reactance is present throughout the great majority of the life span. However, it is especially evident at a pair of ages: “the terrible twos” and the teenage years. Both of these times are characterized by an emerging sense of individuality, which brings to prominence such issues as control, rights, and freedom. Consequently, individuals at these ages are especially sensitive to restrictions.
In addition to its effect on the valuation of commodities, scarcity also applies to the way that information is evaluated. Research indicates that the act of limiting access to a message causes individuals to want to receive it more and to become more favorable to it. The latter of these findings — that limited information is more persuasive — seems the more interesting. In the case of censorship, this effect occurs even when the message has not been received. When a message has been received, it is more effective if it is perceived as consisting of exclusive information. (“We” have the truth….we have special knowledge).
Scarce items are heightened in value when they are newly scarce (we value those things that have become recently restricted more than those that were restricted all along).
People are most attracted to scarce resources when we compete with others for them. It is difficult to steel ourselves cognitively against scarcity pressures because they have an emotion-arousing quality that makes thinking difficult. In defense, we might try to be alert to a rush of arousal in situations involving scarcity. Once so alerted, we can take steps to calm the arousal and assess the merits of the opportunity in terms of why we want it.
Students were given a written description of a particular novel. Half of the students’ copies included the description, ‘‘a book for adults only, restricted to those twenty-one years and over,’’ while the other half contained no such restriction. When polled about their feelings about the novel, students reading about the restriction indicated that they thought they would like to read the book, while students who had not read the restriction expressed significantly less interest. Restricting access to information or material often makes it that much more appealing.
The more you deny them, the more energy you give to your cause, and the prospect becomes an emotionally motivated buyer.
Hostile Audience
For hostile audience, start with a common ground, find common beliefs and values. Offer kindness and friendliness, use humor to break the stalemate. Do not retaliate or provoke your audience into hostility. Respect their feelings, values, and integrity.
Stay at persuading on one point and not extend the contention. Because of your differences, they will question your credibility. Increase your credibility with studies from experts or anything that will support your claim, but provide reliable and objective sources. Show them you’ve done your homework. They will try to find reasons to not like you; don’t give them any. Don’t even give the impression that that you are trying to persuade them. Express that you are looking for a win-win outcome rather than a win-lose situation.
If possible, meet with the audience more than once before confronting them on areas of disagreement.
Be aware that circumstances changed allows people to change their viewpoints without being viewed as inconsistent. People are generally not thrilled to change their viewpoints on something, as they fear they will display lack of consistency and be called a flip-flopper. Convincing people that their old decision (to stick with the old product) was completely 100% correct under old circumstances allows them to be more responsive to the messages that imply a new product/idea is better because the circumstances radically changed since then.
Neutral or Indifferent Audience
If they are indifferent, spell out the benefits to them or the things around them. Identify why they should care. Grab their attention by using a story. Make them care by showing them how the topic affects them. Get them to feel connected to your issues.
Point out the downside of not accepting your proposals. Avoid complex arguments. Use concrete examples with familiar situations or events.
If a call to action is motivated by fear, people will block it, unless call to action has specific steps. A group of people received a pamphlet describing the dangers of tetanus infection. It didn’t describe much else. The second group of people got a description of tetanus infection, plus a set of instructions on how to get vaccinated. The second group exhibited a much higher sign-up rate for tetanus vaccination than the first one, where many participants tried to block out the high-fear message urging that something as rare as tetanus would never happen to them.
The payoff or penalty needs to be immediate, clear, specific, and compelling. You can’t just tell a person what he’ll gain by being truthful or lose by continuing to lie; you must make it real for him — so real, in fact, that he can feel, taste, touch, see, and hear it. Make it his reality. Let him experience the pleasure of gain and the pain of continuing the unwanted. First state the positives, then state the negatives, and then present the choice.
Uninformed Audience
If they are uninformed, find out why they are uninformed and encourage them to ask questions throughout the discussion. Keep the facts simple and straightforward. Make your message interesting in order to keep their attention.
Quote experts the audience respects. Stress your credibility, such as credentials, expertise, and experience. Use examples and simple statistics.
Supportive Audience
When they are supportive, get them to take action, not necessarily to just agree with you. Increase energy and enthusiasm with inspiration. Prepare them for meeting hostile audience and attacks by inoculating them against other arguments.
Let them know what needs to be done. Use testimonials to intensify the commitment.